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October Surprise 2016

Countdown With Keith Olbermann, S2E159: The New Normal: Nap Time With Don Snoreleone

Episode 159 has been uploaded.

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A-Block

  • SPECIAL COMMENT: There’s nothing better than a good NAP.
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Now: Trump’s head slowly dropped, his eyes closed. It jerked back upward. He adjusts himself. Then, his head droops again. He straightens up, leaning back. His head doops for a third time, he shakes his shoulders. Eyes closed still. His head drops. Finally, he pops his eyes open.

— Frank G. Runyeon (@frankrunyeon) April 16, 2024

  • Honestly: You’re Trump, on Monday they literally catch you napping. How do you possibly go in there yesterday and get caught napping … at least TWICE. One video, or one rapid-shutter sequence of still pictures of “Trump’s head slowly dropped, his eyes closed. It jerked back upward. He adjusts himself. Then, his head droops again” and we don’t have to WATCH the rest of the trial, he’d be DONE.
  • Looks like we’ll get this started Monday. Seven jurors chosen. I had forgotten what I learned during two days in the NYC jury pool in 2013: it is surprisingly easy to find enough people who don’t know anything about anything to fill up a New York jury. Meanwhile Trump tried out his new defense: He knows nothing.

If nothing else, it has the virtue of being believable.

But if he lies all the time, that must mean he knows something. So maybe the only thing he knows is how to lie? Is there a logician in the house?

  • Billionaire businessman, greatest mind of his or any other generation, but when it comes to paying off Stormy Daniels to bury her story and illegally keep bad facts about himself away from the eyes of the electorate weeks before the election, and then turning the thing into a clear crime by trying to write it off as a business expense? He knows nothing. He doesn’t know the accountant. He doesn’t know the lawyer. He didn’t know anything about the document. He didn’t know anything about the deduction. He just signed whatever they put in front of him. Because the billionaire businessman knows NOTHING about his own business!
John Banner played the bungling sergeant-of-the-guard, Sergeant Hans Schultz in the TV show Hogan's Heroes. "At a New Year's party on December 31, 1919, he met, and later married, his wife, Gretchen. They wed on August 14, 1920, settled down in Heidelberg and had five children. In the year 1926, he became the head of Schatze Toy Company, the largest toy company in Germany. It is to be assumed that he had no pre-war dealings with the Nazis as owner of Schatze Toy, and he calls himself an anti-Nazi on several occasions. He also says, during The Prince from the Phone Company, "Things were so much happier here in Germany when we had an Emperor, oh boy! What am I saying? That's treason. I say nothing! Nothing!" "Instead of reporting any suspicious activity to Kommandant Wilhelm Klink he would announce either - "I know nothing!", "I see nothing!" or "I hear nothing!", thereby he would never know what the prisoners are doing"
I know NOTHING!

The new face of Donald Trump, and I’d say it’s an improvement.

I think Putin should demand his money back in her case.

Is Nike designing baseball uniforms now?

In other news, scientists are working on trying to make the sweat stains on new uniforms less noticeable. I guess all the important stuff like climate change has been wrapped up.

Oh my! (And that Oz reference isn’t completely off the wall.)

  • And I used to think the Supreme Court Justices were merely not there to do justice or defend the constitution. Now I’m not sure they’re from this country, nor have more of a legal education than I do (and I took one law class 37 years ago).

C-Block

  • THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Just passed the quarter century anniversary of one of the most fun, most unexpected events of my career. How many people do you know who can say this: Tom Hanks, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon pulled me on to the Red Carpet at the Oscars — and they broke my cummerbund!