Countdown With Keith Olbermann, S2E173: Trump Proves: Never Hire A Lawyer With 3½ Stars

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A-Block

• SPECIAL COMMENT: I don’t know much about the law but I do know the Trump Trial has confirmed one of the immutable truths of the field: Never hire an attorney with a rating of 3½ stars.
• Susan Necheles somehow managed to lose to Stormy Daniels during the second day of cross-examination in Trump-On-Trial yesterday; lose so badly and obviously that Trump’s team was forced to file for a desperation mistrial from the very thin ice of basically claiming Necklace forgot to object to something that Daniels said on TUESDAY.
• All of a sudden the Trump defense was claiming — and leaking to every news organization, by the way — that Daniels had dog-whistled a subtext of rape or assault when she gave details about Trump standing in front of her, and not using a condom, and a bodyguard being out in the hallway — and we should just ignore that when she said all that, THREE DAYS AGO, Trump’s lawyer with the three-and-a-half stars rating Susan Necheles said … nothing. Not even the only thing you or I would remember to say if we woke up in some alternate universe where we were in that courtroom as Trump’s lawyer: “OBJECTION.” And that might have been Necheles’s best work.
  • Ms. Necheles: You have experience in making up fake stories about sex?
  • Ms. Daniels: The sex is real. That’s why it’s not a B movie.
  • Ms. Necheles: NOW you have a story about having sex with President Trump, right?
  • Ms. Daniels: If that story was untrue, I would’ve written it to be a lot better.
• Ooops! There goes another half a star.
  • Ms. Necheles: You had sex with a cameraman?
  • Ms. Daniels: I started dating him and he became my husband.
• A reminder: None of this needed to be heard by the jury. If Trump’s defense had stipulated, yeah, they had sex, she wouldn’t have been allowed to testify. Or they could have just asked her what she knew about Trump’s involvement in the non-disclosure agreement and the payoffs and she could have said “nothing” and Ms. Necheles could have said “nothing further, your honor.” This is a case — a relatively boring case with excruciating details about how routine company checks got sent to the White House for Trump to sign even as President and he never ignored a single detail that cost him more than 99 cents — a relatively boring case about falsified business records and the attempt to interfere with an election and Trump’s team turned it into wocka-wocka-wocka, and his credibility and their credibility against the credibility of a pornographic actress and guess what: the actress won.

Trump’s new lawyer

Maybe a worm crawled into Susan Necheles’s brain and ate it, too?

• ALSO: Oh by the way, last month, Trump assembled around 20 of the nation’s top oil and fossil fuel executives and offered them a deal. He’d sell them the world to destroy as quickly as they wanted — repeal all regulations and make Doug Burgum Secretary of Energy or VP or whatever — if they’d simply give him a billion dollars with which to get elected. So when you worry that democracy is on the ballot in November, just remember, no, it’s worse than that: human EXISTENCE is on the ballot.

B-Block

• (23:10) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Mark Levin tries to get around calling Judge Juan Merchan “a pervert” because he was listening to Stormy Daniels’s testimony. Failson Andrew Giuliani is “reporting” on the trial and puts me in an impossible position by blasting Lawrence O’Donnell. And Chuck Todd ISN’T gone after all. He has just written a masterpiece of nonsense: an Epic Poem of bothsidesism in which he concludes Biden and Trump both need to admit their mistakes. He spends one paragraph on Trump’s mistakes and about a dozen on how Biden failed to bring the country together (while Trump was tearing it apart).

C-Block

• FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: No gentle reminiscences here. No prophetic tales of heroes who were actually schmoes. Thurber goes for the jugular vein of the famous Avant garde artist Salvador Dali in “The Secret Life Of James Thurber”

Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and good luck.