Day: August 16, 2025

• Professional matchmakers in the Bay Area said there’s a boom in interest in AI engineers.
• Working in AI is one of the most lucrative, stable careers these days, adding to the appeal.
• The stereotypical nerd is now “sexy,” they said, but it’s unclear how long the AI luster will last.

AI guys aren’t only hot at Big Tech companies. They’re also just hot.

Professional matchmakers in the Bay Area told Business Insider that AI engineers are newly desirable in the dating world, as their salaries balloon and all sectors rush to embrace the technology. Companies like Meta, Microsoft, and OpenAI are offering top AI talent millions per year, and eligible singles in the country’s tech mecca are noticing.

“The last couple of years, more women are saying they’re attracted to a nerd,” said Amber Lee, the CEO of Select Date Society. “They literally use the word nerd. So I think that’s kind of a buzzword to describe these guys in a sexy way.”

‘Future-proofing’

The matchmakers Business Insider spoke to serve the elite — they say their fees range from $5,900 to $500,000, with most coming in around the $100,000 mark. They all said they’d seen more interest from potential clients in the tech industry, with some of the national companies saying more of their VIP clients are coming from Silicon Valley.

“I’m seeing a skyrocketing kind of trend of individuals in AI and just tech companies in general applying,” Amy Andersen, the CEO of Linx Dating and so-called “cupid of Silicon Valley,” said. She said she works with fewer than 10 people at a time, and two of her current VIP clients work in AI.

More than buying access to an elite matchmaker, eye-popping salaries are also a draw for some in the dating world. Some of the matchmakers Business Insider talked to serve LGBTQ+ and straight singles, but all spoke primarily in the context of heterosexual couples and said most of their customers working in AI are men. Though the matchmakers focus on qualities other than income, they also said that a good salary often makes someone a more attractive fit.

“It’s just really simple,” Lee said. “For men who are earning a high income or are high-net-worth men, they’re just economically desirable. It happens to be that men in tech and men in AI check those boxes.”

And with pretty much every industry turning on its head, AI seems like it might be one of the few safe career bets.

“That job is just booming and it’s not going to go anywhere anytime soon,” said Erica Arrechea, founder of Cinqe Matchmaking. “This is a great guy for a long-term relationship. He’s future-proofing.”

People want a nerd

It’s not just the paycheck that’s appealing — awkwardness itself is in. As more people become fatigued with dating apps and gender gaps widen, nice guys with jobs are in high demand. Most of the matchmakers said they’d seen interest in the AI guys and other engineers spike in the past year.

“In the past, maybe an engineer or someone who is really introverted and super smart and nerdy might have been overlooked, but now they’re very attractive because they are in the mainstream,” Shannon Lundgren, the founder of Shannon’s Circle, said.

Some of the long-standing stereotypes about the most techy of the tech guys — awkward, shy, frighteningly smart — are themselves now considered cute.

“The interesting thing that I see in some of these tech engineer types is sometimes they’re a little bit oblivious to social cues,” Lee said. “They tend to be a little bit socially awkward, and women are finding that really endearing.”

While that may be true, the matchmakers said their job is to gently coax aspects of that awkwardness out.

“Everybody needs an oil change. They need a little fine-tuning,” Andersen said. She added that her clients who work in highly technical jobs have the skills to date well, but “might just be a little rusty.”

The matchmakers said it’s unclear how long the AI guy’s sparkle will last since the pendulum of what’s attractive is always in swing.

“If it’s not AI, it’s going to be something else in five to 10 years that is going to be the new boom,” Arrechea said.